Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
