Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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