Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
