so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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