I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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