I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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