haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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