Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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