I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
