I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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