I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
