Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
