What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
