plz talk dirty to me
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
