can u get pink eye on your cock?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
