For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
