I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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