im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
