Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
