let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ketchup is God's man juice
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
