need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
grandma shit on top of the toilet
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
