I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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