i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
