Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
