Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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