you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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