Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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