I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
