I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
