If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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