You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
