What a fucking waste of an outfit
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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