I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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