You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
