these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
