i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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