my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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