Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
