he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Rumble strips road head = magical
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
