and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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