I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ttyl tear gas
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
