its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
