We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
