Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
