So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
