We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
