shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
