if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
