gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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