Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
