i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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