the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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